Bickering
by Talon of soaring Eagle
Summary: It was what they did and they did it well. "Fuck you!" "Oh you wish!" T for mature language :3


**A/N: **Heyyy :D As you can see I'm going through a very FMA phase /w/ I love my life right now. ANY FMA FANS, I recommend the abridged series 'Nullmetal Alchemist' Its really funny I swear :D Without further ado, I present to you my obsession!

**Disclaimer: **I is not own Fullmetal Alchemist :DD

**Warnings: **Ed being a naughty boyy~! Not in the other way :P I meant that he was cussin again... Yay! You know what? All my stories are probably gonna be under M just because of cussin.

* * *

Bickering

It was what they did. All throughout the military their arguments were legendary. Angry curses and insults thundering through the hallways? Oh Mustang and his brat were probably going at it again. Half of Central was on fire and in pieces? Yeah it was Flame and Fullmetal's state alchemist license renewal. What's with all the paperwork for office transfer? You guessed it, the General had called a certain someone short.

Shrieks of "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE COULD FIT BETWEEN TWO SHEETS OF PAPER NO PROBLEM?!" And "YOU WANT TO DIE BEFORE YOU REACH FORTY, BASTARD?" was routine. Regular check ups on Mustang to make sure that the medical bills were kept in check, property insurance and a steady supply of band aids were always a necessity unless they wanted a blood deprived Mustang gasping on their floors. The average amount of shots fired everyday was three and when headquarters was silent people begin to wonder if one of the infamous duo was unwell. No place stayed quiet whenever those two were around, especially not the library.

"Where's that Fullmetal midget..."

Ed looked up from his book, bristling at that fucking perfect smooth voice. Just before he could open his mouth, a smirk filled the bastard's face. "Oh there you are! I couldn't see you behind that book!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A LIBRARY BOOK COULD SHELTER HIS WHOLE BODY?!" Followed by an agitated bark and the two were thrown out instantly.

The license renewals were the most brutal ones though.

"Enjoy your barbecue Fullmetal?" That pretty face stared down at him again with that infuriating smirk that made him want to send a chair sailing at it, though Ed noted with satisfaction the cast slung around Mustang's right shoulder and his splinted left arm.

"As much as you enjoyed the savage _fucking_ I gave you Bastard," he hissed, glaring sharp daggers at the man above him, he was sure Mustang had a broken rib as well from that rock he had sent hurtling into his chest, his breaths were a tad shallow. His face was still a bit scratched where he had pinned the man and dragged his face across the sharp bits of gravel by his hair. Ed growled when he remembered the awful scalding he had received after that, thank god Winry had fireproofed his automail, and that he managed to put out his hair before his face was melted off.

And then there were their normal arguments, as if anything Fullmetal and Flame did could be deemed normal.

"Fuck you!"

"You wish!"

Don't worry, nothing went on behind those doors except for the breaking of bones and pride. Oh yeah, no one could forget the ongoing prank wars.

"Second lieutenant, where is my- HOLY SHIT!"

A clank, whoosh and something that sounded like a mini waterfall before he swore loudly. A soaking wet Mustang glowered, from under the now empty bucket fitted neatly over his head, eyes glinting dangerously. The man lifted his makeshift hat and stared at the hastily carved-transmuted words on the metal.

WET MATCH

A furious billow shook the hallways as the little blond alchemist giggled under the desk. "FULLMETAL!"

"Sir I'm pretty sure that we don't have any holy shit."

Oh yes, they did what they had to and they did what they did best. Arguments, cat fights(courtesy of Riza), brawls, call it what you wish, they would never find anything that could match the thrill of having the other stare them down and lunge...

* * *

**A/N: **Man I sure do love this pairing... both ways? NOTHING GOES ON BEHIND THOSE DOORS I SWEAR! ... Review? :3 I promise I won't place a lego under your bare foot~! Flames will be treated as such, constructive criticism will be treated as such and praise will be placed in a bottle and kept in that special place in my heart X3 *your review*3

**Talon out~! **


End file.
